This is how a lady might say d news to her mom:

Dear Mom,

I know I haven’t written for three months, but I have been very busy and I’ve been having a very exciting time. Actually, I’m just back from the hospital, where I had spent a fortnight about two months ago. It was nothing, really – just a concussion on the back of my head, a broken leg and a ! hairline fracture, that I got while jumping out of the second floor of my hostel when it caught fire. In fact, I can now stand all by myself without crutches, and can almost see everything perfectly, except for a slight blur.

But don’t worry. The doctor says there is a good chance of me walking on my own again. Actually,it could have been worse, if not for that nice chai-walla who saw me lying there in a dead faint and rushed me to hospital. He was very helpful, really, and came to see me everyday in the hospital. Now that I am out of hospital, I had nowhere to go, as the hostel is still under construction. So when he suggested that I move in with him in his hut, I thought it was very kind of him, and agreed. We are very much in love now, and I am sure that you and Dad will surely like him and accept him in the family. I am sure the minor matter that he is fourteen years older than me and that he is of a different caste and religion, will not matter at all to broadminded parents ! like you.

He may be illiterate and poor, but he has a heart of gold – really, Mom, you should see how he cares for both of us – me and his wife, that is. She is quite sweet too, and so are her three children; so there is absolutely no problem. You must be wondering how you and Dad got informed so late. Don’t get angry, Mom. We just didn’t have the time. You see, we decided to get married only recently since we thought it would be unfair to let our baby into the world without a proper surname.

Yes, Mom, you are going to be a grandmother! Congratulations! I am sure you and Dad are delighted, and will come to visit us in his village in Mizoram after we shift there next week.

OK Mom. All this did not really happen. There was no fire, no fracture, no bigamous chai-walla and no illegitimate pregnancy. But I did flunk in my Mathematics exam, and I wanted you to view this problem in the right perspective.

Your Darling Daughter…

If a barber makes a mistake,

It’s a new style…

If a driver makes a mistake,

It is an accident…

If a doctor makes a mistake,

It’s an operation…

If a engineer makes a mistake,

It is a new venture…

If parents makes a mistake,

It is a new generation…

If a politician makes a mistake,

It is a new law…

If a scientist makes a mistake,

It is a new invention…

If a tailor makes a mistake,

It is a new fashion…

If a teacher makes a mistake ,

It is a new theory…

If our boss makes a mistake,

It is our mistake…

If an employee makes a mistake,

It is a “MISTAKE”

Today I lost my dream,

It’s flick on my mind makes me scream,

The future with which my eyes jaded,

Those promising moments look faded,

My virtues & life seems complicated,

Why do I feel that I’m rejected?

The sparkling lights I was waiting to see,

Came very near and passed by me,

Leaving every hope I built shattered,

In broken pieces, I lie scattered,

Will gather my strength and get up again,

For another blow, which I will sustain,

I promise my life, I will change my fate,

If not sooner, then maybe a bit late…

What if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this :

Thank you for calling The Lord’s House. Please select from the following options:

Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS.

Press 2 for THANKSGIVING.

Press 3 for COMPLAINTS.

Press 4 for HEALING.

Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS.

Press 6 for RAIN or No RAIN.

Press 7 for MIRACLES.

Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS.

Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES OR JUST TO SAY “HI”

Press 0 to HEAR THE MENU AGAIN

What if God used the familiar excuse:

“I’m sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in this millennium.”

Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you call God in prayer:

If you would like to speak to Gabriel, press 11.

For Michael, press 22.

For a directory of the other Archangels, press 33.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55.

Then wait for the beep and enter the number of the Psalm you wish to hear.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, press 62.

Enter his or her social security number, the press the pound (#) key, enter his or her date of birth, then press the pound (#) key twice.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noah’s Ark is, Darwin, Hitler, the Pope, abortion, and UFOs, please wait until you arrive here, answers can only be understood from a “heavenly perspective.”

To reach Lucifer, press 666, and your call will be automatically transferred. PLEASE be careful, your receiver may become warm.

Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday, after 9:30 A.M., but before 4:30 ACST (Absolute Celestial Standard Time).

To order any religious material enter catalog number, quantity, and a major credit card number plus expiration date.

For emergencies, refer to your BIBLE.

Reasons why LIFE without a Girl Friend, rules ……….

1. You can stare at any Girl…….

2. You don’t have to spend money on her.

3. You won’t get boring result in ur papers.

4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

5. If u don’t have a girlfriend ,she can’t dump u.

6. Having a girlfriend is hot,not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.

7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

8. You won’t have to tolerate someone else defining, “right” and “wrong” for u.

9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can’t do anything according ur wishes anymore.

10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.

11. You won’t have to waste paper writing love letters No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shopplace.

12. You can have more boy friends(Friends who r Boys), as u will have more time for them.

13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of action thrillers.

14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u’ll sin less.

15. You can have good night’s sleep-no need to dream about her.

16. You wont have to fight over having a ‘special’friend with ur folks.

17. No nonstop nonsense.

18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears!!!.

19. No tension.

20. You can be “urself”

21. You wont have to hide the telephone bills.

Well Yesterday had been a long day. I was at TechED, the academic version of Tech.ED. Was a real happening event from Microsoft. Got to meet my friends from Microsoft, Kevin, Ashwini, Jani and Sanjay Ofcourse. Also came across Pradeep, who is the driving force behind all the “goodies” that we students get.

Had a long chat with these guys from MS, on the academic initiatives happeining across the globe from MS’s point of view. Also when Sanjay, got my name on the stage, lots of Professors from across Pune and Mumbai, interacted with me to start up a .NET Chapter at their respective colleges.

As of now, I am writing this entry sitting at the Speaker’s Lounge at Taj Land’s End, where the event is actually happening.. Its a break time and what the better thing to do than write the updates for the BLOG!!!!!!

Phew!! After a week’s stay at Pune (where I study), its good to be back to Mumbai.. After all its my HOME TOWN!!!

Gonna attend TechED out here, from tomorrow.. Phew!! Have a long week ahead… 😉

Operator : “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut .. May I have your…”

Customer: “Heloo, can I order..”

Operator : “Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?”

Customer: “It’s eh…, hold on……6102049998-45-54610”

Operator : “OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Yourhome number is 40942366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer: “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?”

Operator : “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer: “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator : “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer: “How come?”

Operator : “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer: “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : “Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer: “How do you know for sure?”

Operator : “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Hokkien Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer: “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator : “That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $49.99”

Customer: “Can I pay by credit card?”

Operator : “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $3,720.55 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.”

Customer: “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator : “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer: “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator : “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle…”

Customer: ” Wat!”

Operator : “According to the details in system , you own a Scooter,…registration number 1123…”

Customer: ” *’!^ *%^**%^I7*”

Operator : “Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th June you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman… ?”

Customer: [Speechless]

Operator : “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer: “Nothing… by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator : “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. ”

Jan ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/01/MSDNMag0401.chm

Feb ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/02/MSDNMag0402.chm

Mar ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/03/MSDNMag0403.chm

Apr ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/04/MSDNMag0404.chm

May ’04:http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/05/MSDNMag0405.chm

Jun ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/06/MSDNMag0406.chm

Jul ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/07/MSDNMag0407.chm

Aug ’04: http://msdn.microsoft.com/msdnmag/issues/04/08/MSDNMag0408.chm

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Some Indian film titles may be like these :

Network Ke Us Paar

Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

Aao Chat Kare Programmer No.1

Mera Naam Developer

Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein

Do Processor, Baarah Terminal

Tera Code Chal Gaya

Har Din Jo Mail Karega

Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

Jish Desh Mein NarayanaMurthy Rehatha Hai

Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!

Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari

Login Karo Sajana

1942 — A Bug Story

Kaho Na Virus Hai

Crash Se Crash Tak

Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

Shaheed Hacker Singh

Password De Ke Dekho

Terminal Apna, Login Parayi

Mr. Network Lal

Terminal Sajaake Rakhna

Programmers Ki Rani, Hackers Ka Raja

Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha

Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi

Hang To Hona Hi Tha

More will come up soon.. Happy Blogging!!!