A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.

He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, “How heavy do you think this glass of water is?”

The students’ answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

“It does not matter on the absolute weight.

It depends on how long you hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, it is OK.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

“If we carry our burdens all the time,

sooner or later,

we will not be able to carry on,

the burden becoming increasingly heavier.”

“What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again.”

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don’t carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested… Rest and relax.

College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Etc : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Committee : Group who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Optimist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidently falls into a river.

Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,

Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Marriage : It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Rumour : News that travels at the speed of sound.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest of us…except that he got caught.

Worry : Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

I.T. Engineer : One that is paid for sending and receiving such E-mails!

This is one of my fav ways of becoming famous and rich on the net. First, make user ur credit card bills go way beyond what you can pay. Then, after you realize that you are in a soup, create a web-site asking help from kind-hearted souls. Well thats what Karyn Bsnak of http://www.savekaryn.com did.

A native NY, paid up her debts in 20 weeks with contributions amounting to about $13,350. If this wasnt enough, cause of her website, she appeared on TV, got coverage in newspapers and magazines..

One thing though, she wouldn’t had received such a response if it hadnt been her sence of humour.

Everysince I have a Gmail account, I used to wonder.. Why is it called the Email of the Geeks.. Finally two days Ago, I found out the answer..

The 1000 MB did capture everyone’s attentetion, however as I can put it, its just a foundation for Google. Every other email provider, then starting givin few 100 MBs of storage space extra – but they still had the folder hierarchy. However in Google, you can apply labels to a mail, as opposed to putting the emails in respective “folders“. Once you get used to “labels”, folders will feel primitive.. This technology was around, but Google was the first to Implement it – Score one for Gmail.

Gmail interface is one huge 250KB JavaScript file. Sign-in and wait, while this downloads. Once its on the comp, the interface is blazing and rocking. The Jscript proces all the click right from ur computer, instead of gettin back to the server.. The only time it goes to the server is for the e-mail contents. In contrast to this, almost all Web-mail apps force a full page reload.

The fast-text only interface + cutting edge organizational model topped with “Invite Only” exclusivity, it has all the contents for a perfect recipe for GEEKS email id…

PS: Where did I get to know all this. Thanks to my fav tech mag called “DIGIT”

auto accident;

register voters;

static electricity;

struct by_ligthning;

void *where_prohibited;

char unstable;

short circuit;

long jeans;

unsigned long letters;

double entendre;

double trouble;

union jack;

float value;

void check;

struct dumb by[size of number]

/* Its very funny program….. go thro and ‘n’joy*/

#include

#include

#define MAAL beautiful_lady

main()

{

goto college;

scanf(“100%”,&ladies);

if(lady == MAAL)

line++;

while( !reply )

{

printf(“I Love U”);

scanf(“100%”,&reply);

}

if(reply == “GAALI”)

main(); /* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == “SANDAL “)

exit(1);

else if(reply == “I Love U”)

{

lover = MAAL;

love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));

}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:

{

food++;

smile++;

pay->money = lover->money;

return(college);

}

if(time==2.30)

goto cinema;

cinema:

{

watch++;

touch++ ;

if(intermission)

{

coke++;

smoke++;

}

}

if(time == 1800 Hrs)

goto park;

park:

{

for(time=1830;time<=2030;time+=0.001)
kiss = kiss+1;

}

free(lover);

return(home);

if(time == 2130)

goto pub;

pub:

{

friends++;

party++;

booze++;

smoke++;

if(pub.close())

{

pay->bill;

come->out;

}

}

if (highly->intoxicated)

goto friendsroom;

else

{

sweetpan++;

polo++;

goto home;

}

friendsroom:

{

goto sleep;

}

home:

{

if(mom.shouts())

{

reason=(combinedstudy || projectwork || friendsbday);

say->reason;

}

if(dad.shouts())

shut->yourmouth;

call->lover;

if(phone->voice==(lover_dad->voice || lover_mom->voice))

{

hang++;

}

else if(phone->voice==lover->voice)

{

for(time=0030;time<=0130;time+=0.001)
{

say->ILuvU;

scanf(“100%”,&reply); /* “I Love U” already stored in reply*/

}

}

goto sleep;

}

sleep:

{

*(dream)=love;

}

} /* Program Ends */

GOD Saves US!!!

Don’t lower your goals to the level of your present abilities

but rather raise your abilities to the height of your goals.

1. CREATE GROUPS FROM LITTLE ICONS GROW..

2. SPEAK SOFTLY AND CARRY A CELLULAR PHONE…

3. DONT PUT YOUR ALL YOUR HYPES IN ONE HOME PAGE..

4. PENTIUM WISE ; PAPER AND PEN FOOLISH..

5. THE MODEM IS THE MESSAGE..

6. DONT BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN VIEW..

7. WHAT BOOT’S UP MUST COME DOWN..

8. VIRTUAL REALITY IS ITS OWN REWARD..

9. MODULATION IN ALL THINGS.

10. KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT BEFORE YOU CONNECT..

11. SPEED THRILLS

Recently, Cally Ko, the APAC and Greater China, regional director for Microsoft Communities has been travelling across India. She was here at Mumbai yesterday, with good old Abhishek aka. Spiky

So yesterday was a good old run, starting from Morning 8.00 AM, in Sarang’s Indica (for a change he took to Disel Car) along with Mahesh, all the way to a Hotel near Gateway of India at Mumbai. We go to the reception and ask for Abhishek. The beautiful lady directs us to room no 409 where Spiky was “hooked up”

Enter room, and not to get shocked, the complete Mumbai UG Commitee was already present, including Akila, Dhaval and Jignesh. So we rest overselves on Abhi’s bed with his due permission. After about 60 minitues of “Leg Pulling”, every one was kinda hungry. So it was time to ask the “Big Boss” Sanjay Shetty (who hadnt turned up yet cause he wa a bit ill), about a right and nice destination.

So our Ms beautiful Akila, called him up and he said he was on his way to d hotel. And then there was nice lunch at Khyber. What followed up next was a UG meet, where Cally givin a session on the Community Program and Abhishek givin the one on Infopath 2003, the same one which was at Tech.ED 2004.

Following it, was a dinner at Sheesha at Bandra and then back to Pune in Sarang’s car..

Phew.. Its right said Pune to Mumbai in 24 hrs.. 😉

Well as I had mentioned earlier, I had 4 gmail Invites left. If anyone had gmail and if lucky ones got invites, clickin on the invite button will make a new window appear, where in you can send the invite to ur friends.

Well there is a catch out here. I recently had installed a popup blocker on my machine. It blocks all the popups that come on a website. When I clicked on the invite list, as intended, it blocked the invite window.

But then, Gmail is smarter than a stupid-old popup-blocker (or shall i say GOOGLE), as soon as there was a popup-block notification to gmail, there was this saying on the blocker, “A popup Blocker might have blocked the Invite window, kindly disable it in order to send invites”

Now wasnt that smart enough.. Way to go GOOGLE..